Hazed and infused?

Hello, my name is roberto richard wallace the 18th. I am from a little town called greensburgingham. This one time, at band camp, I sat all night in a tree waiting for a wild animal to cross my path. When a bear finally did, i dove 50 feet out of the gigantic elm tree with a samurai sword in one hand and a tooth brush in the other. i stabbed the bear in thae back with the sword and quickly jabbed him in the eye with the toothbrush. tho the sword didnt seem to phase him, the fungus on the toothbrush because of my horribly maintained teeth gave his eye a mive infection and he quickly went into convulsions. i pulled my bloody sword out of the bear and started to slice open his gut. he raised his claws and struck me down. i now have half an eye, no arms, and 1 leg. i have a truely shitty life now. when people look at me they actually puke. i have an axe which i named dry pheonix.